Saturday, January 31, 2009

25 things .. that facebook trick going around

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I became a grandfather at the age of 36

2. I have been married 2 times, once for nearly 8 years and once for less than 8 months.

3. The first school dance I went to was in 1977, we dance to the soundtracks of Sat Night Fever and Grease.

4. My first car was a piss green Gran Torino, which I wrecked not long after getting it. Only the nose was damaged and then replaced with a RED part. Sadly that never really earned it a nickname.

5. I have two daughters who are now both in their 20's.

6. I spent nearly 8 years on Active Duty in the Marine Corps, there I was an electrician on A-4 Skyhawks.

7. I come from Alabama but don't know how to play the banjo, I have had one on my knee before.

8. When I was 6 I wanted to grow up and be a Green Beret like John Wayne, then the summer before I turned 9 someone gave me the bood BATTLE CRY about USMC during WW2 and I knew that the Corps was for me. I never changed my mind after that, I left home for Boot Camp the day after I turned 18.

9. Is for the number of holes I have in my body from piercings.

10. I spent 6 months in the country of Panama in 1995. Right before I left I bought a new fangled computer called a laptop. it had a gray scale screen. The very next model was color and I was floored that they could make a color screen.

11. Is the number of Tattoo's I have

12. My great-grandfather fought in the War of Northern Aggression. He was captured three times, the first two they let him go, the third time he was kept in POW camp outside Chicago. Every time I go there I make sure to spit on the ground many times. I say this to explain why my second tattoo is that of the CSA Battle Flag (rebel flag for you that dont know).

13. I didn't meet someone who was either white or black until I was 13 years old. I was also 13 the first time I had Chinese food. By the way "soul food" is also known as Southern Cookin, what a shock when I found that out.

14. I actually used one of the first "cell phones" the military had. When I was stationed at KBAY Hawaii we used a cell phone that was on the same account as the Commander In Chief of the Pacific. Which meant that the people who used it to call the mainland at like $2.50 a minute really got their ass handed to them. Luckily I wasn't one of them.

15. The age I was when I first drove legally and also the year I got out of a speeding ticket when my mother took the fall.

16. I grew up in Greensboro, Alabama, and there are rumors that the Forrest Gump character was based on two different men from my home town. One actually rode a lawn mower around and I think I remember him. I also never lost the accent. But when I was growing up I caught shit for talking like a yankee, cause my mother was from Northern Virginia I guess.

17. The first dead body I saw was that of my Grandmother, I was in my 20's.

18. The best Valentines gift I ever received consisted items purchased at home depot and did involve tools or grills.

19. I got married my 19th birthday the first time. I would not recommend doing that to anyone now.

20. I waffle on whether I believe in spirits or not. I lean to the side of there is something in my apt that keeps knocking things over and making the pictures tilt to one side.

21. I was able to legally buy beer at 17 because I had a card saying I was going to leave soon for boot camp. Before that I stuck to stealing beer from my fathers garage fridge.

22. The first gun I owned was a .410 double barrel shotgun, this was later stolen by my second wife. I still avoid telling my father about that. It was my grandfathers, and also the first gun I fired when I was 5 or 6.

23. I had a left hip replacement at 41 years old. I still walk with a limp even though the VA says it is fixed just fine.

24. I use my real name on twitter, facebook and blogs because hiding behind a screen name is for pussy's.

25. I don't usually do these damn things but since everyone else was doing it I figured I would too. Tomorrow we are all jumping off a cliff. and the later we will go rattlesnake hunting.

did you really make it to the end. leave a comment even if its a cuss word or two. and notice I did the whole thing without trying to suck up to alison rosen at all.

Don't Put that in your mouth

For some reason people still hang on to the theory that a human can be MADE gay, even though over 40 years ago psychiatrist realized it was not a mental condition that required institutionalized.
This myth that gay people can be turned straight is as bad as the one that people can be turned gay.

Since I am not very eloquent I will try to put it in simple language.

IF A person doesn't like to suck penis (notice I didn't say DICK) there is very little that can be done to change that. This thought can be expanded but I think you get my point.

And if the Bible really had something to say on the subject, wouldn't it take more than a few lines. Plus that was like 6000 years ago, when Fathers sold their daughter for a few sheep.

So look inside yourself. Do you really want some straight guy cutting your hair, doing your nails . picking your wall treatments.

MISSED Blog from 22 JAN 2009

I posted this to my facebook but failed to merge it with this space, It recounts the day spent traveling to Northern Virginia, Springfield to be exact and some of the things that took place.


[[[[[[[[ These are direct notes I took on my ipod touch as I was traveling. They are literally how I make notes to myself.  but to make more sense I have gone back and made them more complete thoughts  ]]]]]]]]]

When does a day start and end. I did not lay down until 230 am and then had to be back up to get dressed and catch the cab to the airport. I lucked out and ended up getting the "CAR" instead of the big blue van. So all in all the trip started on a good note.

From the door of the airport to the gate was one of the most smooth trip I have ever taken. I even got to get full body xray, so I hope i was looking my best.

The flight was nearly completely empty I think the number of people on the 737 was 31 including crew and passengers. I was surprised NO ONE was sitting in th emergency exit row of seats. So I had no problem sitting there and getting the extra leg room. Out of the two hour flight I slept for about a hour fifteen minutes.

We landed at Dulles, this is the first time I have ever flown into there. For anyone who ever has to do it. PREARE to walk.
Its getting late I am tired so I will just outline the rest of the day.
Took shuttle from airport to grandmothers Arriving around 11 am

Pat my grandparents caretaker was there so I met her and talked quite a while.
some whre about 1 pm I finally laid down to take a nap
My Aunt Marsha called at 230 for lunch request. I went with the philly cheese steak.

Uncle Paul and Aunt Marsha arrived with well desired food.
After that time line is a little =blurry

at somepoint . the youngest cousin Kendra arrived, OK everyone knows her as Kendra, but since that is also my mothers name when around the family she gets the golden opportunity to be referred to as KJ or Kendra Jean so everyone knows who is being talked about.
Aunt Terre showed up sometime in between lets say it was 715 pm
My Mother and brother finally arrived at 820 pm
we all had pizza. talked Friends of my grandparents came by, a very lovely family from church who were originally from Uganda. the most unique thing from their visit was the discussion of ear piercing . The lady's name who escapes me at the moment , spoke of having her ears pierced in Africa and they used a THORN to make the hole. Just force it in , break off the sharp point and wa-la pierced ears

Much talking took place, everyone eventually left to go home leaving my mother and grandfather. Now this is where it gets funny. and why you have read all the boring stuff before.

My mother and I went outside to smoke, we finished our cigarettes. .. Then since we are transplanted Floridians and it was starting to really get cold we thought it best to return inside.
Guess what . the door was locked,
We had both left our cell phones inside.
Beating on the door did nothing so my mother went across the street to use the neighbors phone to call the house thinking it would wake up my grandfather.

Sadly earlier that day I had turned the ringer off on the phone by his bed so he just slept through it.
We eventually were able to find a neighbor with the phone number for the caretaker and she came over and let us in.
After that we finally agreed that the day had been long enough and we went to bed.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Things to blog at a later date

The trip to Northern Virginia and hanging out with the family at a funeral. Very interesting much love was shared along with lots of food.

Latest experience at the Bay Pines VA complex, How it feels to be accused by a doctor about missing appointments and the need for pain medication. If you call to much you are chasing meds but if you dont call enough you obviously dont need them. so a no win situation.. reminder to people that want the gov't to control everyones medical.

I am now officially a twitter hollic and probably in need of an intervention. or another laptop one of the two. because two laptops are not enough to properly participate in all my online activities, the biggest issue being I have been neglecting my blogging.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Away from the blog

This is for the three people that might have accidently stumbled upon this blog, to let you know. My grandmother passed away very suddenly the day after Obama ascended to the throne. It has been a hectic few days, with members of the family flying in from all over the country. Even though the death of any family member is a time of sorrow, I can say I think she got took on life with both barrels and gave it all she could. I claim my love of dancing I have as one of the many gene's I got from her. By her own admission she was that girl in the red dress that everyone wanted to dance with when she was younger. I have just a couple of hour ago returned from her wake, celebration of life. The number of people that were in attendance was so great that folding chairs had to be set up in a extra room to allow everyone a place to sit. Another awesome thing that happened was the first time that I can think of in nearly 20 years all 5 of her grandchildren stood for a picture. The last time would have been 1989.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Obama Inauguration

Well what a day it has been.
I can hardly count the number of times my feelings of pride and patriotism would over take my thoughts.
I freely admit that I didnt vote for him. In the beginning I thought he would go far. In fact I take credit for telling a couple people who in the end became super supporters to the fact this man was running for president.
but as the campaign went on I became suspicious that he was sounding a little to socialist for my taste so, swallowing the hard pill I jumped back over the fence to the side that stands for Freedoms and Smaller Govt.

I want use this blog to cover my feeling on that right but fast forward to the events of the day.
Right now I am 100% behind the POTUS, I will not project fears on something he might or might not do. Because he has already
not done somethings I was expecting. Not everything he will do can make me happy, but if he is able to present it in a way that the country stays behind him and doesnt feel persecuted by him then keep on keeping on I think. After 8 years of my friends screaming republicans are tyrants ect. Now we agree, I imagine that before long I will be the one supporting the POTUS and they will still be complaining. There are people that DO and there are people that just wring their hands at everything. The United States is not all left and not all right .

My concerns keep muslim extremist in check and off our shores. Fulfill the promises made in the contracts that military member sign when they join. I want my grandson to run and play and go to school and learn. I may have no tolerance when talking to peacenicks you know the three people that want the war but offer no option to ensure the safety of the masses.

And man when POTUS was walking those last few steps to the podium a rush of pride came over me. This man has done something. He made such an impact that people traveled far and wide and stood in freezing cold. To witness the event.
I hope he took his oath of office to heart. I know every time I said the Oath while I was in the military and undescribable feeling would wash over me. UPHOLD AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION the document we use to run this huge country of ours. I hope he does get a whole generation off the couch and out doing something. You improve you life by meeting and interactign with new people. if you are 45 years old and still only hang out with the buddies from 4th grade there is a chance that you may all be rich . but I bet that while you are all doing ok you would be doing twice as good if you had taken a chance and expanded your sphere of influence.

I learn something new from everyone I meet. Twitter is a good example . while I like to think my self a leader, its the following of others that offers the chance for learning something new.
Icould blunt information. or a thought provoking statement. or an alternative to a view have.
I was once a RUSH DITTO head. but then realize that being a PARROT to someone elses ideas didnt suit me well. I like to fucking think for my self. that and rush has problems with LGBT. I Just dont like anyone that fucks around with the stuff in my bedroom . For the RIGHT I have sex in the bedroom so keep the fuck out and for the LEFT to many LOADED weapons that make them quiver in the corner like beaten pups. so both of you stay the fuck out.\

So if you are still reading i will continue, Too easily sidetracked this time of night. I am going to totally ignore the crap the celebrities put out . IF it make people get motivated then screw it make stupid videos Andrew Brightbart has a much better tant than I could ever write.

What does all this mean, 4 months ago I didnt want Barack Obama anywhere near the White House and now this nigh,t as I turn in I feel like "all is well in the world". Everyone took his speech differently but the one thing I heard was.

HEY ASSHOLES UH HATE TO DISAPPOINT YA BUT I COMMAND MARINES AND RANGERS and shit load of other stuff that I DONT want to really use, but fuck with us and you will find I will stop playing all nice. PEOPLE depend on me to keep them safe.

So sleep well America . the POTUS changed but YOUR military is still working .. the cops are still going to arrest you for drunk driving . the girls at the bunny ranch are still doing 3 ways for enough money and al-queda is still only blowing shit up in the middle east.

Monday, January 19, 2009

On the eve of Inauguration

Ok lets get this out there. You do not have to support handouts if you are on SSDI, SSDI is payed on the basis of INCOME accrued when I was working. I worked at least two jobs at a time even many of the years I was Active Duty Military, so guess what my SS with holdings were substantial.

As an American, Retired Military member I support in general whomever the President of the United States might be. That said I am really tired of Fucking Celebrity's that BASH one president then turn around before the new guy has done SHIT other than win the election and pledge their souls.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

the twitersphere

new words discovered tonight
#twitterject. the act of sending a twitter about a subject you were previously not involved with .. especially if you find the subject on

#twitterbutt to butt into a twittersation that two or more people you follow are having without being invited

thats why its important to follow people from around the globe . not just for the 24/7 but for the global perspective
serious note now to ponder. TWITTER .. could just do what thousands of years of kings and armys and colonialism could not do
instantaneously connect the world. end forming your thougths from the news . but from what other people are saying with out some ROCKSTARtelling you what to think

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Now that I have opened the door

Now that I have started posting explaining why I get to stay home everyday I can freely post other things as they happen and I think about them.

Last weeks doctor visit brought a little surprise, I have a viral load for the first time in 4 years. I know, plenty of people everyday have viral loads but this was the first experience for me. Always one to look for the bright side of things. my first thougth was Yeah the VA can finally do blood test to determine which strain of HIV I have. Betcha didnt know there were more than one version, I don't even know how many there are. Frankly I quit searching for those answers a while back.
So anyway, back to the downside, I had to get test done to find out if I was able to take ANOTHER pill. This not only required paperwork being filled out, and people called for approval ( yeah and you want universal healthcare on the gov't model)) but a trip not to the blood drawing station within VA Bay Pines but to the actually lab. The room with all the microscopes and blood shakers and other stuff.
5 vials of blood were drawn, not those little ones like you usually get but long ones with new colored caps. Now I only have to wait a month to find out the results. one week down three to go. I am sure more about this will follow.

Part two

When I last left off I was walking out of the Health Dept after just finding out that I was HIV positive.
Well to be correct I was told I was most likely positive a second round of test would be done to confirm the results. It was another two weeks before these test came back. Thats when I got the little piece of paper confirming that with Western Blot test I was positive for HIV antibodies. I must admit I had held out a slim bit of hope that it would not come back positive. Hey a guy can dream can't he.
Now in the movies you would cut from this scene to one where the person is in the hospital with doctors hoovering over saying there was nothing else they could do. In real life a whole list of thing have to be done.
Since I had no insurance, I was told I could go to Pinellas Cares Clinic and see a doctor there. Now I was expecting to call them on the way and immediately be seen by a Doctor. Much to my surprise the Clinic didn't feel the same sense of urgency I did. My first appointment was set for the late part of February
(((((((note I have paperwork with actual dates on them somewhere and will probably make one post a timeline from beginning to end but for now approximate will work))))))
I might have tried to look on the bright side when I first got word, but after that it was all down hill. I have never experienced a countdown to something that consumed me the way waiting for my first doctors visit did. I did talk to a couple people who were positive and bottom line the things I learned from them just added to the dis information.
The day finally arrived and I reported to the Clinic, the paper work, form after form, i don't know how many times I signed my name and filled out my address eventually I saw a nurse. Now again I refer to movies over real life, in the movies they show the pills you get to take. But they don't show the 7 vials of blood they take. I am sure the nurse explained what they were for . words like viral loads and blood counts. I don't really know it was a very "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" reality moment, I couldn't hear, I had extreme tunnel vision.
Let me try to give a different vision of how I felt. Instead of calling the friend that was supposed to pick me up I walked 78 blocks back to his house. I have no idea how long it took. My appt had been for 930 am and I arrived back at his house at 4 pm.
next time waiting for blood work results and dealing with the VA.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Not every post is heavy

Some even weigh in the banter weight division. If you stumble across this blog know that I started it to post random things but also will be using it as an outlet to pass along my story.

Why Blog Now

I usually post and twit and attempt crappy humor but I do have a serious side. Another thing that might not be obvious if you stumble upon this blog, I failed every college writing course I took except one so dont expect anything fancy its just a blog.

On a more serious note.

This is the first of many blogs to tell a story 5 years in the making.

For 5 years now I have been fighting the results of a mistake I can not even pinpoint. When I first learned I was HIV positive it was almost a relief. After nearly 5 months of one constant illness after another being poked and prodded and having hoses inserted from either end with no immediate explanation, I finally received a hand delivered note asking me to drop by the local county health dept. The note said nothing else, but I was pretty damn sure what it would say. However within hours of getting the letter, my aunt died in Alabama and I was wisked away for a quick 3 day trip to attend her funeral in Alabama.
lt was a nice cover for how I was feeling inside, the tears that flowed over the next two days served a twofold purpose, I was mourning my aunt but also accepting the fact that I probably was HIV positive and would soon be finding out that death was coming my way soon. As I gazed into the open casket of Aunt Lois, just like they show in the movies, my mind began to play tricks and I imagined myself laying there, with family standing around whispering the rumors of what happened. Would they tell the truth or would some elaborate story be concocted to cover the embarrassing fact I my grandmothers favorite grandchild, as some of the aunts love to say, had died from that awful "gay" disease. I have to thank my cousin Cindy who drove the 10 plus hours up and back, I think we took advantage of years since we last hung out to speak of many things, sadly I don't remember what the subjects were , but they were important at the time.
Well once the funeral had been attended and the return trip to the Tampa area complete the next big thing was to report to the health dept. It would be almost cliche to say it was a surreal event, I was sure what was coming, but still the lady at the front desk played along with the super secret stealthy code on the letter I had received. I was to see Lady Whatshername and to give them the word Code Z. Its very nice when you go through the process, they make you wait then bring you back to a room, sit you down and then lay out these computer generated forms. I don't remember what she said something about you know three months ago while in the hospital they had you sign a release form, blah blah blah, blah.. yada yada, I know I cut her off and said let me guess I have HIV. Yes she said. Now this is the weird part, I actually felt some relief , after months of being sick for undetermined reasons at least now I had the answer. I felt good, with the knowledge that at least something had finally been determined.
After that there were forms to sign, a request for a list of recent sexual partners, and then another blood test to double check the findings.
I left the health department that day in a daze, I can't even remember what I was thinking.
Well that is part one. This is a five year recap so much more to follow.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

the VA experience

VETS can call 1-800-273 TALK #VAMCVETS can call 1-800-273 TALK #VAMC
2 minutes ago from TweetDeck
Vet commit suicide twice as much as chickenshit civilians because VETS are not afraid to pull the trigger 2 minutes ago from TweetDeck
But VETS have a dark side. . when Iread that my mind thougth 3 minutes ago from TweetDeck
SERIOUS :: Vets commit suicide twice as much as civilians this is a serious thing 3 minutes ago from TweetDeck
now for the funny's, screen saver on doc computer has suicide slide show 4 minutes ago from TweetDeck
NOw to ride 30 minutes back home on said cycle in a warm 53 degrees. YEAH for VA Medicine 5 minutes ago from TweetDeck
1101 Doc is done.. out the door, 6 minutes ago from TweetDeck
1100 .. no sleep study , found out that when i was a kid a doc screwed up the septum so no need to do anything else but snore 6 minutes agofrom TweetDeck
1058 doc is here, says hi, tells me the DR that gave me the sleep study appt is only part time and made a mistake 7 minutes ago from TweetDeck
1043 in the room now really just waiting for the doctor 8 minutes agofrom TweetDeck
1042 finally see a RN for vitals 8 minutes ago from TweetDeck
1021 waiting to see the DR 9 minutes ago from TweetDeck
Cold as a bitch on the scooter had to stop at dollar store and buy gloves 9 minutes ago from TweetDeck
1020 Arrive at #VAMC Bay Pines was a cold cold ride 51 deg 9 minutes ago from TweetDeck

Saturday, January 10, 2009


for the record, 
Todays two football games provided more big hits in two games than I have seen in quite a while. They were not just hits many were out and out brain jarring collisions that made me wince just seeing them.  
Also the fantastic pass plays that went well and the magnificent interceptions made todays games worth every moment dedicated to watching them.  I only hope that Sundays game provide the same.  

Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday again

So once again Friday night is upon me, not that it is different from any other night.  I just walked outside and noticed that the moon is full and very bright.  Not nearly as bright as last months which I believe was the closest it will be for a very long time.  So what is on the agenda for this weekend.  The first non-party weekend of aught nine.  Aught 9 by the way I will keep pushing to be used as the official reference for this year.   How much fun will it be in twenty or thirty years when you are talking to grandchildren or great grandchildren telling them stories of the Great Depression of Aught Nine.  It just sounds better,  it reeks of knowledge earned through living hard.  I can see the chat now.   ...  cut to medically enhanced version of yourself....with young child ........... self :  You know back in Aught Nine we thought the chosen one would rescue us from them fellers up in New York pulling Madoff's with money the government gave them.  But then thank goodness Larry Flint and that fantastic man that went on to become the  Head of Teachers   Student Association Joe Francis walked up to congress and saved the entertainment industry.  Before Aught nine we had to pay for most of our porn on the interwebs but afterwards it just streamed right into the house, and the government took the cost out of our personal welfare checks before we even noticed it was gone.  Yeah sonny, Aught Nine marked the dawning of a new era, thats why you are here, once we got universal health care, everyone could get the required medical attention to keep them young and alive.....
... ok thats as much as I can think of